Staying Home

I've always been a worker. I was the odd kid who the second I could get a workers permit I got a job. I even worked before that (under the table for neighbors and such). I actually always really liked having a job and liked working. I never really thought about what I would do once I had kids (because I never thought I would get married and have kids). I guess that I thought once I had kids I would find a way to continue to work...and here I sit with two kids (so amazing) and I am not planning on working.
Part of me is nervous to be home so much and worried that I will get a little "cabin fever", but for right now I have so much peace about this stage of my life. I can't wait to spend so much time with my two girls and get to see them grow and develop.
I did apply for a job teaching online, but I did not get it. Yes, a part of me feels the sting of rejection and feels like that is a direct shot to my teaching ability...but I am trying not to take it personally. It's a rough year in education.
Part of me is now worried about money and insurance, but my ever trusting husband keeps telling me to trust and not to worry - it always works out. It's just such a different position for me to be in and I am so excited for the adventure to begin!!

My big girl

Many of you know of Amalea’s eye adventures that started at 2 weeks of age (well birth technically, but we didn’t know until she was 2 weeks). Today Amalea got her first pair of glasses to try and help her use her left eye more. I was so proud of her and she was a total hit at the eye doctor...telling everyone hello and waving and being her normal goofy self. It's hard to believe that she is almost 2 years old!!

My joy

I will be honest and say that parenting is definitely not always easy. Some days I feel like Ami and I are just a little off from each other. But there are also days (and moments even on the off days) where I am so captivated by her. I watch this child who is so thrilled by the little things and am reminded that no matter what happens in life I need to smile a little bit more. I watch her get caught up in a book or playing with a toy and she reminds me to have more fun.
I cannot imagine what life is going to be like with two girls to give me such joy. My prayer is that I slow down more and enjoy the moments more.
It's been a tough year of transition as we have been in Portland now for just about one year. I have made a lot of mistakes and wish some things hadn't happened the way they did. And yet they happened just as they did and I vow to learn from everything and makes changes so that this next year can only be better.
I will find my joy in my family. I will commit to be better to them; to laugh more, to smile more, to relax more, to love more, to give more hugs and kisses. This year will be a better year.

If you follow Amaleas blog I posted some pictures today from a fun morning (amaleakrill.com). This may be the last post on her blog as we are moving to a new blog for our family (pdxkrills.com) that we will start using once Maya get's here - any day now!!