"What do you want for Christmas?" The question has started being asked to me and my response so far has been that I can't think of anything. I'm not trying to be humble, I'm not trying to act like I am better than anyone else, I'm not trying to make a statement - I just honestly don't know what else I could possibly want. When I look at my life right now I don't see anything missing that I need to obtain or be given this Christmas. I have an amazing husband who sacrifices and gives me more than I could ever have dreamed, I have a beautiful baby girl who is healthy and growing strong, I have a family that loves me and is so excited for the stage of life I am currently in, I have friends who support me and are there for me. How could I ask for anything else? No game or gadget, no clothes or shoes, no fancy car or kitchen appliance could possibly make me happier than I am when I look honestly at all I have.
Yes, I have moments when I don't feel great about myself or when I feel exhausted and emotional - but I don't have moments when I feel like I need something else. I have been given so much and I pray that I don't forget what is most important this Christmas season and if I receive nothing then I won't be disappointed because I already have everything.
Monday, November 12, 2007
I felt a lot of fear today as the doctors wheeled my 6 week old daughter away to have surgery. And yet I felt a lot of peace at the same time. I thought I would be a lot more afraid, but honestly I felt so much peace. It amazes me that God can bring peace in a time when I feel so much fear - I was afraid for the anesthetics, I was afraid the surgeon would find something he didn't expect, I was afraid the surgery wouldn't work, I was afraid because my daughter was gone for nearly 2 hours and I had no control over what was happening to her. Then I started to think about the future - she is going to grow up and become independent and I am going to have many times where I am fearful and yet I know I will continue to pray for peace because God gives it. My future will be different now that I have a child in it, but one thing that will not change is my continuous cries to God for protection and ultimately peace as I trust him to take away my fears.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
One of the biggest things I have learned in the last 6 weeks is to lighten up. I am a pretty neat and organized person and I like my house to be like that also - I like it when things are put away and there is no mess and no clutter. However, Amalea has taught me that there are so many things more important than cleaning and organizing. Yes, I do still try each evening to organize the mess, but I have been so much better about letting things go and just enjoying the moments with my family. I could still do better, but at least I am making progress towards not being so uptight :-)