2010 Baby Mania

As I begin to look forward to 2010 there is one thing in particular I am looking forward to with great anticipation - babies. No, not another one for me...but instead I get to help welcome a number of babies into this world as some of my dear friends are expecting.
January 1, 2009 was the day I found out I was pregnant with Maya. January 3, 2009 I went to the emergency room because I thought I had a miscarriage. It was frightening in so many ways. I had just come to know there was a little baby inside of me and I thought just days later that I was going to lose that baby. Luckily she was fine and as you all know Maya joined our family on August 15, 2009. Maya is one of the best things of 2009 - and it was a hard year, probably the hardest year of my life. There are many things in 2009 that I am happy to put behind me and I am happy to be able to say this year of my life is over. It was hard. And yet 2009 brought me Maya...and as hard as it has been to transition to having two kids (and a lot of other changes as well) it has been an incredible journey as Maya grows and changes and also changes me, Jim, and Amalea. Babies have that ability - the ability to change us and make us do things we never thought we would do. The ability to make us scream and cry because we are so frustrated and also to make us scream and cry because we are so elated. They make us better people, more loving, more caring, more free...babies truly are a gift that changes us forever.
2010 will bring babies to 5 of my dear friends.
In January we will help welcome Baby Girl Leonardo. This is especially exciting because the Leonardo's also have another daughter, Ania, and so we will be able to go through raising 2 girls together!
In February Everett David Vaughn will be arriving. The Vaughn's are dear friends and we are so excited to be a part of welcoming Everett and hope he loves music and soccer as much as his daddy, Devin, and Jim do.
In April Baby Girl Reed comes. The Reeds have been such blessings to us. They have volunteered countless times to watch our girls and we trust them like no others. They also live about 2 blocks away from us so we get to see them often. We are excited to return many favors to these two wonderful people and can't wait to love on their baby girl.
In May my dear friend Lindsay Pompey will be having a baby boy. This little boy is extra special as we have been waiting for him for some time. Shortly after finding out we were pregnant with Maya, Lindsay had her second miscarriage. There were a lot of emotions for me as I was pregnant with Maya and so badly wanted my friend to have her hearts desire - a baby. For reasons unknown that just wasn't the time...but now it is and I could not be happier. There are some people in our lives that just make us smile and Lindsay and her husband Chris are those people...they will be incredible parents.
Finally, in June my best friend is having a baby. This makes me want to move back to California so badly because raising our children together would be a dream come true. Andy truly was a person that came into my life at a crucial time. She has been there to walk with me through some of life's hardest things. She makes me laugh and challenges me to talk deeply and freely about some of the more uncomfortable topics. Andy and her husband Danny are such special people. I hope to be able to be there for their baby as much as Andy was there for me after I had Amalea - but I know with living in different states it will be hard...thank God for telephones, skype, and airplanes.

Here's to hoping for 5 healthy and beautiful babies. Congrats friends.

Why worry

I am a worrier...I always have been. In college I used to worry when my parents didn't call to check in when they said they would (a bit reversed, huh). When Jim doesn't answer his phone when I know he is somewhere he can I freak out and convince myself he is on the side of the road dead (pathetic I know).
So, when we realized a few weeks ago how tight our finances were with me not working I worried. There are other reasons I started looking for work besides just finances...we were hoping it could provide an opportunity for Jim to have more time with the girls and also for my mental health. But I was stressing...worrying...panicing even about it all.

But why do I worry...things always work out. When will I learn to trust in that, my past experiences, instead of worry and panic.

I got offered 3 jobs! And I am taking two of them.

Job #1: Teaching online. I will be teaching Junior English through Orange Lutheran Online which is a high school in Southern California. This starts the end of January and is an 8 week course. I am super excited because I get to work from home which means it doesn't take away from my time with the girls, but I get to keep teaching which I also love.

Job #2: Site Coordinator for ClubZ tutoring. I applied and interviewed for a position as a tutor in an after school program. I was hoping to get at least 6-8 hours a week doing this. I got called today and they offered me a position, but not just as a tutor, but as a site coordinator. What this means is I get 15 hours a week and will get paid more an hour than I would have as a tutor. There are 8 hours after school and the other 7 are on my own time contacting kids, scheduling, recruiting, and doing other organization things (I love organizing). So, the additional hours don't take away from my time with the girls.

Why worry, right? I feel like this is the story of our family. We realize how things are just isn't working and that we need to re-figure things out and then it all comes together...even better than we could have hoped.

Learning reversed

Sometimes I don't realize how much I learn from Amalea and Maya. As a parent I focus so much on teaching them.

With Amalea it's teaching her letters and numbers, how to play fairly and share, how to use her words instead of have tantrums, how to be creative and explore the world around her, how to love books and reading :-)
With Maya it's teaching her how to sit up, how to lift her head when on her stomach, how to grasp her toys and play with them, how to soothe herself when upset.

But...the learning goes so much deeper than that. In ways I don't even realize my daughters are teaching me every day. These are some of the things I learn from them:

• To play. I get so stressed about life and things that are not important. They drag me away from the worries and help me see the joy of playing.
• To sing and dance. Amalea loves to do these two things. It is so freeing to dance and sing and be silly. I feel a weight lifted every time I do.
• To run. We have a long hallway and Amalea loves running up and down it...running with her while holding Maya makes me laugh every time.
• To smile. Maya's smile has a way of melting me no matter what. I have learned just how powerful a smile can be.
• To cuddle. The warmth of holding my girls in my arms makes me so happy and reminds me to enjoy the moment.
  

There are so many more things I have learned, but in the end what it comes down to is that my daughters have taught me to live freely, to enjoy the moment, to relax a little and to have fun.