Thursday, July 23, 2009


Maya remains in the breech position (head up instead of down and ready to enter the world) and it is getting really tight in there so she doesn't have much room to actually turn at this point. I am trying what I can to get her turned so that we can have a natural childbirth. I know that a C-section is always a possibility and that for us it is an even higher possibility at this point and I am coming to terms with that.
It's not that I think a C-section is such a bad thing...but I long so much to birth my child and have the doctors put her in my arms in that moment as she takes her first breath and lets out a little cry. I didn't get to have that moment with Amalea and it makes me sad that I may not get to have that moment with Maya either.
When Amalea was born her cord had been pinched and she was immediately responded to be a pediatric emergency team. They cleaned her right away, cut her cord, and treated her. She was breathing, but not strongly...not strong enough to let out a cry even. It was one of the scariest moments in my life watching them work on my daughter I had been preparing for for the last 9 months. Jim and I just prayed and cried together as they reassured us she would be ok (and of course she was).
I guess a part of me needs to let go of the "ideal or perfect" birth and realize that whatever it takes to have healthy child is most important. It's not about me or my experience, but about my daughter and her safe entry into this world.

No comments: