Why I love Sunday afternoons...

Leap of Faith

A little over a year ago Jim and I began to discuss the possibility of moving away from Southern California. We got to the point in the process where we knew we needed to take what some would call a "leap of faith", so we did. I remember having moments of thinking we were totally insane, but we trusted that we were doing the best thing for us and our family. It amazes me to think back on the entire process and see where we are now. That leap of faith was the best decision and I am so happy we did it. So, if you are reading this and wondering what the future holds for you and if you should take that leap I encourage you to do it. You might feel a little crazy or unwise, but if you're like us it will be the best decision you ever made.

Spoiled

Recently I have come to realize just how spoiled I am and the thing is I've been spoiled my whole life.
PARENTS: Growing up I wasn't spoiled with money or even material things, but I was spoiled by having great parents who were really involved in my life. They never missed an event I was a part of (and that includes playing something like 6 sports and being involved in lots of activities at school), they taught me incredible lessons on wisdom and most of all they loved me even when I probably didn't deserve it. Later in life, my parents have spoiled me financially and given us help when we really needed it and encouraged us when we made big decisions.
HUSBAND: I am spoiled all the time in my marriage. Jim treats me with utmost respect and constantly reminds me how special I am and how much he loves me. He sometimes even forces me to spoil myself. He is selfless and truly puts me first all the time.
FRIENDS: As has everyone, I have been through friendships that were hard and not very healthy, but in the end I have encountered some of the most amazing ladies in my life. I look at all the stages of my life and there are friends I consider close from each stage. Some friends I talk to more often than others, but in truth I have friends from High School days, Junior College days, APU days, Thousand Oaks days, and now Portland days that I know will be there for me through any joy or pain.

Sometimes I think that being spoiled only means you have a lot of money, but what I have come to see in my life is that I am incredibly spoiled by knowing amazing people and being a part of their lives. I thank all of you that spoil me and make me feel loved. I thank those of you who have come to visit when we moved, those of you who have supported us financially in different trips or adventures we take, those of you who clean the house without being asked, and those of who love me even when I truly don't deserve it.

Pregnant and...Emotional

Today I went through feeling a very wide range of emotions. I'd like to blame some of it on the pregnancy hormones, but seriously I don't know. Excitement, Joy, Frustration, Depression, Contentment...it was a lot. When I was out driving I pulled over for an ambulance to pass and the next thing I knew I was crying - I mean seriously sobbing. I was so sad for whoever the ambulance was helping. And then, not 10 minutes later I felt total contentment driving with Amalea with all the windows down and the music blaring - we were both laughing so hard. It was perfect weather and Amalea and I had a blast being silly. I felt depressed about having to go back to work tomorrow (not your normal dreading of Monday, but seriously depressed with my whole body to the point that I was in tears).
Needless to say, I am exhausted. It's not even 9:00 yet and I am longing for sleep...ahhhh...the emotional roller coaster I ride.

Another girl

All my life I wanted to have baby boys - I was such a tomboy and that made me so nervous to have a baby girl. Then I got pregnant and I didn't care if it was a boy or girl - I just wanted a healthy baby. We found out it was girl and I cried tears of joy. I didn't realize how much I would love having a girl. Amalea makes my life so much fun and I couldn't imagine life without her. Then I got pregnant again. Again, I didn't care if it was a boy or girl, but once again when I found out it was girl I cried. I am so thrilled that Amalea will have a sister and that they will be so close in age.
It's funny how you think you want one thing and then when something else happens you realize how happy you are with that thing and you can't even imagine wanting the other thing (not sure if that makes any sense). Basically, I am so excited. I will have two daughters - so fun!

Again...

I just had another friend miscarry her baby. I don't get it. I just don't. All the excitement and joy and then it's taken away so quickly. I feel sad and a little angry.

Invisible Children

So, each year I have been teaching I have shown the documentary "Invisible Children" to my students. This year I debated whether or not to show it - I wondered if it was too much for them. However, I decided to show it because it fit well as a post discussion from the novel we just finished, "The Wave".
I have been so surprised by their responses. In many ways they are much more serious than my high school students. I'm not sure why this is a surprise to me, but it is. Many students have left in tears and most have had questions filled with frustration and anger.
We are writing letters to the president in response to the film and I have been impressed by what they have to say. I work in a fairly wealthy community and to see these students open their hearts just a little means so much to me.
One student came to me and asked where I was sending the letters and said she wanted the address herself because she wants to do something on her own.

Why is it that we, as a culture, doubt the care our teenagers have? I think we so often underestimate them - I know I do. I want to remind myself to challenge them and give them awareness because they have so much to offer this hurting and broken world.