My family

In just a few short months we will have our second child and to be honest I cannot even imagine how life will be. I am so excited and yet there is a bit of me that is anxious. It's walking into the unknown - I don't know how it will be. Then I remember that at one point I didn't know how life would be with one kid and as soon as Amalea was born it all fell into place. I don't think we can ever be completely prepared for major life changes because there is no formula that explains the change...instead we must experience the change as it happens and learn as we go. I love my family of 3, but am so incredibly excited for our soon to be family of 4.

(there are more pictures of Amalea from our beach day on her blog at http://www.amaleakrill.com/?p=255)

Music

I don't know much about music - ok, I don't know anything about music - except that I like it. I watch Jim play and I am in awe of his talent and gifting. What I do know is that music is a great relaxer for me. Music can literally change my mood.
Lately life has been a bit hectic and with all the unknowns for the future I have truly been depending on music to help keep me calm and level. I find myself listening to worship songs more than anything, and specifically listening to Jim or our friend Devin. The words remind me to keep perspective in life and I need that. I tend to be someone who gets a little excited about things that haven't even happened or I get worried about something that might happen - I need people to remind me to stay calm and allow time to reveal what it will. I feel like both Jim and Devin write music in which I am reminded of these things and I am thankful for them and the music they create.

Trimester 3

I am now officially beginning my third trimester of pregnancy. I started my 27th week today and the tired feeling has already hit. I think it was a combination of a few other things, but I do find it ironic that the night before the third trimester I went to bed at 8:45 and then took a nap also...oh man...it's starting. It's not even 8:00 tonight and I am so tired.
They say that at this point the baby weighs just over 2 pounds. We are in the weight gain phase now where she has pretty much developed completely and now she just grows. Of course this means I will grow also - sigh.
I wish it was August 14 now!!!!!!

Why I love Sunday afternoons...

Leap of Faith

A little over a year ago Jim and I began to discuss the possibility of moving away from Southern California. We got to the point in the process where we knew we needed to take what some would call a "leap of faith", so we did. I remember having moments of thinking we were totally insane, but we trusted that we were doing the best thing for us and our family. It amazes me to think back on the entire process and see where we are now. That leap of faith was the best decision and I am so happy we did it. So, if you are reading this and wondering what the future holds for you and if you should take that leap I encourage you to do it. You might feel a little crazy or unwise, but if you're like us it will be the best decision you ever made.

Spoiled

Recently I have come to realize just how spoiled I am and the thing is I've been spoiled my whole life.
PARENTS: Growing up I wasn't spoiled with money or even material things, but I was spoiled by having great parents who were really involved in my life. They never missed an event I was a part of (and that includes playing something like 6 sports and being involved in lots of activities at school), they taught me incredible lessons on wisdom and most of all they loved me even when I probably didn't deserve it. Later in life, my parents have spoiled me financially and given us help when we really needed it and encouraged us when we made big decisions.
HUSBAND: I am spoiled all the time in my marriage. Jim treats me with utmost respect and constantly reminds me how special I am and how much he loves me. He sometimes even forces me to spoil myself. He is selfless and truly puts me first all the time.
FRIENDS: As has everyone, I have been through friendships that were hard and not very healthy, but in the end I have encountered some of the most amazing ladies in my life. I look at all the stages of my life and there are friends I consider close from each stage. Some friends I talk to more often than others, but in truth I have friends from High School days, Junior College days, APU days, Thousand Oaks days, and now Portland days that I know will be there for me through any joy or pain.

Sometimes I think that being spoiled only means you have a lot of money, but what I have come to see in my life is that I am incredibly spoiled by knowing amazing people and being a part of their lives. I thank all of you that spoil me and make me feel loved. I thank those of you who have come to visit when we moved, those of you who have supported us financially in different trips or adventures we take, those of you who clean the house without being asked, and those of who love me even when I truly don't deserve it.

Pregnant and...Emotional

Today I went through feeling a very wide range of emotions. I'd like to blame some of it on the pregnancy hormones, but seriously I don't know. Excitement, Joy, Frustration, Depression, Contentment...it was a lot. When I was out driving I pulled over for an ambulance to pass and the next thing I knew I was crying - I mean seriously sobbing. I was so sad for whoever the ambulance was helping. And then, not 10 minutes later I felt total contentment driving with Amalea with all the windows down and the music blaring - we were both laughing so hard. It was perfect weather and Amalea and I had a blast being silly. I felt depressed about having to go back to work tomorrow (not your normal dreading of Monday, but seriously depressed with my whole body to the point that I was in tears).
Needless to say, I am exhausted. It's not even 9:00 yet and I am longing for sleep...ahhhh...the emotional roller coaster I ride.